Window of Honesty
In the two decades that I’ve been seriously in the dating scene, I’ve never really considered that such a theory — or is it a fact? — exists in relationships. It’s probably due to how I view relationships, how I perceive life.
Beware the Window of Honesty, which slams shut about four weeks into a relationship. The more we become invested in someone, the more about ourselves we feel inclined to keep hidden. (Voice of experience: The explosive power of a secret will grow with the passage of time.) — Michael Crook, What’s the Recipe for The Good Life?
I recently realised how much I am a black and white sort of individual. I believe that there’s only one way that people should act to be considered right and outside that they can be called “bad guys”. Though principles like honour and honesty are things one cannot bend, it’s how people define them that differs. And with all the complexities of life, things don’t always fall on either black or white.
It’s quite disturbing to think that there is such a thing as “window of honesty” in a relationship. That there are people who will allow secrets to build up. We blame ourselves for failing in relationships but never really going down on the problem at its core. Wouldn’t you agree that keeping something from your partner will hinder the growth? Giving the other person the chance to face the truth as they come and not when it’s too late?
Whether or not this “window of honesty” truly exists, I choose to believe that such relationships can be classified as unhealthy for both and unjust to the other person who falls victim to it. A relationship is a two-way street. Even when both did know what they’re getting into, each should respect that they both entered into the relationship in good faith. Each partner has a responsibility to be honest with one another and not take advantage.
But if one desires a “good life” do we really have to believe and beware of the “window of honesty”? Or do we choose to believe that honesty can be had in a relationship? Thoughts?
Tags: Dating, honesty, relationshipsRelated Stories
POSTED IN: For Couples
2 opinions for Window of Honesty
Michael Crook
Jun 19, 2008 at 1:47 am
omg, i bare my soul and bleed all over my blog and, and, you turn around and hurt my feelings! well maraming salamat po to you, miss can’t-be-wrong. i’m telling my therapist on you.
kellys
Jun 24, 2008 at 9:46 am
I was always taught to enter into a dating relationship with your eyes wide open and a marriage with one eye shut. We all know that the idiosyncrasies that endear you in the beginning will annoy you after “I do”. My DH and I still amaze our friends with our brutal honesty. My friends ask why I tell on myself for the silly things I do. I simply say that he can trust that if I am still telling the silly things, then the big things are out there too. I wouldn’t have it any other way!
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