When the Ex Keeps on Haunting You
We can’t really help it, yeah? Some things that are meant to be in the past refuses to stay there. Some people will continue to haunt you no matter hard you try to bury and forget them.
Personally, I can’t help but point out that wasn’t it enough that he and I have hurt each other to the point that we had to part ways? Why do we have to re-live the pain over and over AND over? The hurting stops here. I refuse to let another day pass by with the thought of possibility that the ex can (and most probably will) materialise and find a way to hurt me again.
Incidentally, I’m going to throw a few questions out there, all in the hope of finding some clarity. If your ex can affect you, regardless of degree, does it mean anything? Can you really be friends with an ex? Does an ex seek to hurt you (or is it all in my head)?
About the last question, I just think that sometimes, an ex can be too selfish that he or she can’t let the other person move on and be happy. Is it foolish to hope that this ex has it in him to treat you in a manner that reflects the “love” you guys had even when you’re no longer together? Yea, I’m not holding my breath.
Tags: Dating, ex, ex-boyfriend, ex-girlfriend, relationshipRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Answer This
2 opinions for When the Ex Keeps on Haunting You
Shai Coggins
Apr 6, 2008 at 6:27 pm
My personal take? An Ex cannot really “haunt” you in that way (unless they’re a ghost or something - haha). Haunting happens if you let it happen. And seriously, what’s the point? YOU hold on to your own sanity and do what you need to do to be happy.
Trying to stay friends? Yes, it’s possible. But, only if it’s not hurting you/hindering you. If it’s keeping you from enjoying life NOW (and the future) - again, what’s the point?
I’m not one for burning bridges, but in cases like this one - I’m all for severing (maiming, cutting, burning… you get the picture) ALL ties.
Disclosure (to anyone who may wonder where strong words are coming from): Blog post author is my sister. Hehehehe. ;-)
Cherie
Apr 10, 2008 at 2:04 pm
@Shai - Disclosure note is very cute. :)
@Shasha - When you break up, it’s best to get some distance so you both can move on. Otherwise every action and word seems like torture. If one of you moves on before the other, it can seem hurtful. If one of you wants to be friends it can seem like more than friends to the other person.
My advice? Get some distance. Don’t be hurt over someone, regardless if they mean to do it or not.
Being friends with an ex IS possible but it takes a lot of time and has to happen naturally. You can’t just break up and think you’re going to hang out like before but without the emotional attachment.
(And when I say “you” I mean everybody.)
:)
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