Thoughts on Interracial Dating
I came across an article that discussed some of the finer points of interracial dating. It caused me to ponder on the topic further. It may have been directed to American readers but I [not being an American] was able to understand how this kind of dating can demand and effect changes in a person’s life.
Perhaps I did not grow up in a country that suffers from an issue such as this one so I cannot fully comprehend the consequences of such an act. However, I am aware of what really separates races. Uh, skin colour. Call me naive or foolish but that’s all that I can see. One can argue that there are differences in culture and upbringing, which happens to be true, by the way, but these things can be learned and un-learned thus not really an obstacle but merely an excuse.
It’s just the society who adds pressure to this kind of a relationship. People can be cruel sometimes. But if a relationship that came about an interracial dating doesn’t work out, neither can blame it on skin colour. That’s immature, don’t you think? Interracial partners will suffer the same kind of problems like everyone else.
One other thing that is good to note, if we continue in our quest to globalise, then it cannot be helped if all races will mingle on a regular basis. By just being online, we open ourselves up to the idea that we will meet someone outside our race and at the same time we are effected by all the different influences that’s found in news, books, movies and music.
How do I know these? Well, I’m currently living in a country that’s not my own. I can say that I’m learning a different culture from what I’ve known almost all my life. Apart from that, my country is somewhat heavily influenced by the western culture. But if you want to summarize the kind of culture I grew up in, it’s a mixture of conservative, Spanish-influence and American-influence. And I’ve dated a few guys who are from different cultures [American, Filipino, British-Irish]. Plus I know people who are enjoying successful interracial relationships and marriages.
I’d like to think that I have an open mind and I’m not ruled by my own biases, which I know I’m not. Hehehe.
Bottomline. I reckon everyone’s the same. It’s just the personalities that differ. The differences we may face if we consider dating someone from another race are the same ones we would face if we date someone from our own. I guess it will be left to the individual which will weigh more, society’s norm or real love.
Tags: attraction, commitments, Courtship, Dating, first_impression, Interracial-Dating, long_distance_relationship, love_match, marriage, real_love, relationshipsRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Dating in General
5 opinions for Thoughts on Interracial Dating
Gayla McCord
Apr 5, 2006 at 10:56 am
I always thought it was “just a skin color” thing - until several years ago I became friends with a very handsome biracial man.
He and I got into a deep conversation one time where I was able to ask him all those questions you’d like to ask someone but are afraid to…
What I found is that he is very emotionally torn when it comes to being able to feel like he belongs to one culture. Is he black, is he white? What?
Another prime example is Derek Jeter of American Baseball fame. When he was dating white women, he received threatening letters from afro-american women because he was “denouncing *HIS* race and heritage” - but if his father is black and his mother is white, what makes him “African American?”
See my point?
I think it’s all fine and good when couples fall in love or even have interatial relationships, but I think they should give serious thought to the implications and impact such a relationship would have on their offspring.
Just my humble opinion.
Sasha
Apr 5, 2006 at 4:02 pm
I agree with the thought that you have to think about the repercussions if you enter into such a relationship especially if it will lead into marriage and children because it is not something we can easily overlook.
However, I also believe that if the couple indeed have a child together, any implication brought about by the issue of “race” should not be because the household has put emphasis on its importance as the child grows up.
Classification of races are judged by the skin colour and nationality but with clear emphasis on colour if prejudices are in effect. But if you strip away all these things and ask yourself, what will I find? This person’s needs and biological make-up is just the same as mine.
I just think that it is the society that creates the barrier between races [Americans, British, African-Americans, Asians, etc]. All I’m asking from people is to ask themselves, is it or should it really be an issue when they’re considering dating or marrying someone. If it is, why?
Amy
Apr 7, 2006 at 8:45 am
I find it amazing that we can still be discussing this type of subject in this day and age. We have come so far in many areas like medicine and technology but we remain stuck with the idea that as people, regardless of skin colour or culture, we just can’t get along.
I have a White-English mother and a Afro-English father. The first 5 years of my life were spent growing up in an area where Afro-English/Caribbean/American people were as common as the Dodo, but I was never aware that I was different from anyone else.
I then moved to London, United Kingdom, where I grew up in a multi-cultural environment. It wasn’t until I was 13 and at high school that I started to question whether I felt out of place. I wasn’t brought up “black” or “white”. I was taught that I was a person and that my education and experiences would shape me as a person.
The one thing that sticks out to me though was that my dad once said to me ‘Amy, because you are a person of colour you will always have to prove yourself to those who are not. You will have to work twice as hard.’
At first I did not understand why that was the case. And I do believe that it has probably influenced my take on things but I have never lost sight of who I am as a person.
I am not an adult (if 23 can class as an adult) in a good job, and in a wholesome relationship with a biracial young man, Iranian and White-English. I plan to grow old with this man. I plan to share a lot of love and life experiences with him and of course, have children.
The one thing I am not worried about is how “mixed up” the child will be because of our racial backgrounds! If anything, I believe it will make them well-rounded people and more aware of how far societies could evolve if they just let go of the “We are all different” mentality.
Gayla McCord
Apr 7, 2006 at 9:20 am
Amy ~ it’s good to hear your point of view. I’ve only had the one other person I know that is muliti-raced and his experience to base my own opinions on - well and the highly publicized life of one of our countries greatest baseball players.
I saw an interview with him where he was very sad discussing how he was treated in high school in Michigan. Even now, as famous and as HOT as he is, when he returns, he still has those who are just downright cruel to him - that proved to me that it doesn’t matter - fame or not, some people are just mean and cruel.
Based on the issues that society imposes on biracial people, I can’t say I ever found it “right” for myself or that I ever thought about entering into a relationship that could potentially cause my children such hardships.
Having been a geek and not in the “in crowd” in school brought with it enough hardships I couldn’t imagine the possibility of doing that to my child.
But that’s just me and what I feel is right for me. It has nothing to do with my feelings or respect for people of color.
I can’t imagine the hardships you’ve likely endured because of small minded people. It makes me ashamed at times to be the color I am sometimes.
Good luck in your relationship. :) Keep us posted. I do love those extraordinary love stories. :)
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Jun 10, 2007 at 10:21 pm
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