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Dating Dames - Dating & Relationship Advice, Tips and Trends

The Tenth Commandment

by Sasha Manuel on May 9th, 2006

“..You shall not covet your neighbour’s wife..”
Exodus 20:17, NIV

Easily translated to ‘one shouldn’t want someone else’s date or partner.’ Uh, no — I’m not going to go preach-y on you. Don’t worry. I just wanted to point out something that is often present in some people’s preferences especially during the selection process.

In the Dating scene, some people are guilty of such an act. I have to admit — sometimes, that unavailable person is attractive. Usually, what comes to mind is — they’re not married yet so it’s alright. Or I can’t help it if he responds to me. But hey — don’t get me wrong. I will not condone cheating. Yes. I do believe that in everything you do, positive or negative, there will be consequences. Besides, who needs complications, right?

Anyway, moving right on.

It is unfortunate if you do get to meet someone whom you think you have chemistry with but he or she belongs to someone else. There’s an easy explanation to that — you were not meant to be together. I will not discount the possibility of something ever happening if you guys try to work things out, though. But you have to wait it out. What I mean is you can’t force the situation. Don’t act on it together, act on your beliefs separately.

This is what I think. If you the two of you are really meant to be together, each of you will be mature enough to deal with your responsibilities with your respective partners rather than acting on your impulses and feelings — genuine or not.

Here are some things you can do if you find yourself in a similar situation.

  • Stop and think about what you’re doing before acting on it.
  • There’s nothing wrong in analysing the situation first before acting on it.

  • Assess your motives and objectives.
  • Ask yourself questions like: What do I want from the relationship?

  • Respect your current partner if you have one.
  • You didn’t start dating that person for nothing.

  • Respect the other person’s partner — empathize.
  • What if the tables are turned and it happens to you? Tell how it feels to have your partner snaked away by someone else.

  • Be patient and not hasty in making decisions.
  • You wouldn’t want to regret anything, right? If that thing that’s starting between you and your new “love” is real then time is immaterial.

Love shouldn’t start out as being complicated. It should be a glorious, awesome experience. Well, at least, that’s what I believe.

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POSTED IN: Advice

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