The Reasons A Man Won’t Cheat
We’ve all heard stories and theories about cheaters and why they cheat. I’m more interested in the guy who doesn’t cheat. What is his secret? Is it religion? Does he have a lower sex drive? Or the opposite - a super hunger for his woman and his woman only? Does he lack opportunity? Does he possess the will of………well a very, very strong-willed person?
Joe Kita shares his personal experience and opinion in Cheating On Your Wife - To Cheat Or Not To Cheat? over at Women’s Health Magazine. Married for 23 years, Kita has never cheated and considers his being faithful something that he can’t share with his buddies. It is his “secret.”
Okay, I get it, boys will be (bad) boys or at least pretend to be, whatever… I found Kita’s reasoning against straying very interesting. My favorite is number 2, because it demonstrates that he gets it, that he knows that nothing is worth the damage that inevitably will follow the cheat.
My ankle hurts in the morning.
In his book Letters to My Son, Kent Nerburn equates temptation with the time he broke his left leg: “Whenever I feel a surge of attraction to a woman, I think of that leg.…Being unfaithful snaps a relationship as surely as that fall snapped my bone. At first, it may seem like nothing. Over time, you may be able to mend the break so that the relationship is stronger than ever. But it is not healed. The scar remains and it will haunt you forever.” I haven’t broken any limbs, but I’ve sprained my right ankle a few times. And it aches almost daily.
I was married to a man who cheated - both sexually and with our family finances. It was devastating. After reading his piece, I like Joe Kita. I respect a man who doesn’t cheat and takes the time to share the reasoning behind that decision, while simultaneously outing his big “secret.” That’s a man with some darn good priorities.
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7 opinions for The Reasons A Man Won’t Cheat
Lara Kulpa
Sep 4, 2008 at 6:48 am
It’s nice to read that there are men out there that at least appreciate a non-cheating man.
I’m always leery of believing any man who brazenly brags that he’s never cheated. But that’s probably because I’ve been cheated on too much and too often, and I’ve seen my girlfriends get cheated on so much, that I’m just paranoid. LOL
The only man I know who never cheated is my Dad, believe it or not. And he’s the only one I really believe.
Michelle Smith
Sep 4, 2008 at 9:35 am
Sounds like your Dad is a “real” man. :D
I think that part of cheating comes from an insecurity inside the cheater. Sort of the tear others down to build yourself up school of thought. They feel something is missing and they try to plug that hole with the cheating.
Cheating sucks.
kelly Talla
Sep 4, 2008 at 9:55 am
I think that’s great if they don’t cheat. I think that it’s sad that the non-cheating man is in the minority. I was just reading an article on vdateonline.com, and it was talking about forgiving cheaters. I just think it’s terrible that it’s so prevelent. I think all men should have the non-cheating mindframe and it should be celebrated, not a secret!
Michelle Smith
Sep 4, 2008 at 9:59 am
I agree, Kelly. It is too bad that it’s a secret - like it’s a bad thing or a non-manly thing to be faithful. I supposed that is just another one of those guy-things that we can’t understand. I am very glad to be a female in that case. I’d hate to have to hide that I was “good.”
Sardonic_SOB
Sep 20, 2008 at 6:57 pm
Reasons men don’t cheat:
1) They get enough sex of satisfactory quality.
Reasons men do cheat:
1) They don’t get enough sex of satisfactory quality.
The key to understanding that this is a Universal Law, like the Law of Gravitation, is understanding that “enough sex of satisfactory quality” is a highly complex concept, and that it varies according to each man’s own physical and physiological makeup. If a man really loves his wife but for physical reason she can’t have sex very often, he may have a much lower threshold than another otherwise similar man. But once you define the parameter it’s totally binary. Given opportunity a man who does not get enough sex of satisfactory quality will cheat. A man who does, will not.
S
Michelle Smith
Sep 21, 2008 at 7:36 pm
Sardonic SOB, if you think that sex is the only factor in whether a man will cheat or not, then you either:
1) Have no experience with the subject or…
2) You have not been paying attention.
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