The Best First Impressions
In a fast paced world, the first few moments of meeting someone are paramount in making a lasting first impression. Assumptions made immediately, during that first meeting often lead to immediate decisions to accept or reject a friend, a job, even a potential lover. Most experienced single’s, take the “what you see is what you get” approach. In just the first few seconds of contact, whether e-mail, viewing a profile, or initial verbal communication, we all form a first impression that oftentimes becomes a lasting impression.
Like it or not, dating is a competitive game. Failing to put your best foot forward during early romantic encounters could cost you your place in the universal game of numbers, dating! It is important to remember, the next first impression you make, could turn into a lifelong experience.
A First Impression – Your Profile
Your profile is a unique and personal introduction. Your profile can easily be considered equivalent to a first meeting. Your profile should be as unique and individual as you are. Though there is not one style that appeals to everyone, you should place as much effort into your profile as you would a first date. A profile is a space for you to display yourself in your favorite outfit, list all of your qualities, perhaps a few of your faults. While viewers of profiles will have varied tastes, there are some general pitfall’s that should be avoided.
Title or Headline
Avoid boring descriptions. Put some thought into something catchy or daring. Remember, this is the first thing potential dates will read about you.
Proofread
Spelling, grammar and punctuation are as important as content. Try drafting your profile in a program that offers the spell and grammar check feature. The style you reflect in your profile is as important as the clothing you choose for your first date.
Unbelievable Perfection
If you are old enough to place a personal ad, you are old enough to realize no one is perfect. Regardless of the style you choose, be careful not to exalt your merits. This practice will scream ego and will likely raise suspicion. It will be your minor faults and inconsistencies that make you human, interesting and oftentimes more approachable.
Red Flags
Avoid sending up red flags. Avoid complaints about existing problems in your life. Refrain from casting yourself in the role of the victim or the emotionally wounded. Never bring up old war stories from past relationships and avoid the word “desperate” or its likeness. The Prince rescuing the damsel in distress only happens in fairy-tales. Chaos, depression and drama are not attractive qualities, regardless of how rosy they are painted.
A First Impression – E-mail
Your initial e-mail can be compared to the opening conversation at a cocktail party. Introduce yourself appropriately. It is important to always listen as much as you speak. Be confident, yet genuine.
First e-mails should follow similar basic rules as profiles, for presentation and content. Take time to experiment and find a style that works well for you. Use the subject line as you would a headline or title. Be creative, proofread, remain positive and above all, absolute. First e-mails should always be individually written and will work best when in conversational style. Mention something about the recipient’s profile, letting them know you do pay attention. Point out an area where you first sensed a connection. Ask a question or two, inviting continued correspondence and include some brief information about yourself. It is best to keep things light and friendly, though tossing in a hint of flirtation won’t hurt.
A First Impression – The Real World
Considering all has gone well with e-mail and phone communications, you are likely looking forward to a first meeting in the real world. Though you may feel as though you already know each other, you have not become familiar with each other’s physical preference. First face-to-face encounters can be a bit awkward, regardless of positive feelings you may have already established.
You will make your best real-world first impression by being calm and confident. Funnel that nervous energy in a positive direction. Remember to smile! Statistics have shown that people are perceived as being more attractive when they are having a good time. The person you are meeting will form an immediate physical first impression in as little as ten seconds, based on a combination of these attributes:
Posture
Walk
Body language
Attire
Physical Characteristics
Smile
Eye contact
Scent
Handshake
Grooming
Confidence
Comfort
In a poll, single men and women were asked to list attributes they find attractive and unattractive in a potential partner. Below is a list of the most frequent responses. Though many of the attributes may not be immediately obvious, most will show up in that first meeting.
Positive Attributes:
Warmth
Confidence
Sense of humor
Fitness
Success
Body language
Conversational ability
Creativity
Kindness
Individuality
Imagination
Aspiration
Negative Attributes:
Self-centered
Judgmental
Poor conversational ability
Lack of education
Negative life attitude
Poor manners
Immature
Shallowness
Manipulative
Materialistic
Indecisive
There are no second chances at a first impression. Invest some quality time into creating a profile of distinction. Recruit a close friend or family member who will give you honest and constructive criticism and implement their responses. In the overall scheme of things, taking a day or two to think about what to write, how to write it, how to reflect the truest you, is a small investment on something that could reap a lifetime of reward.
This article used with the permission of SingleAgain
Tags: Dating, first_impression, potential_lover, profile, romantic_encountersRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Advice
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