Pink Rose Boy Failed.
Okay, so I’m getting ready to head off to Blog World Expo in Vegas, to meet up with the rest of the b5 team, plus a bunch of other webbie friends, and I tell him that I’m really busy, trying to tie up loose ends beforehand, and so on.
His only major concern was that we get to see each other before I go.
I’m agitated with him at this point, because I’d planned on dinner on Tuesday. He says he’d rather do lunch on Wednesday. I say that’s fine. Then he doesn’t LEAVE to make his seven hour drive home until after noon on Wednesday. So I’m annoyed. He begs me to do dinner that night, and I say no, because I’m not going to eat dinner at 730 at night. I go to bed early, and that’s just too late for me. So after a bit of a spiff, I agree to lunch on Thursday. (I was leaving Friday, mind you.)
We get to lunch and I’m so aggrevated that I wind up babbling at the mouth in some vain attempt at getting through it faster. I give him a quick hug goodbye and get back in the car to get home to the office.
Later that night, he calls to tell me that he’s super excited that his flight out is only an hour after mine, same airline. Whoopeeeee. (When I’m in travel/project mode - I could care less about anything else.) So I snapped a little, but shut off my phones and everything to finish getting stuff done, and when I woke in the morning there were 3 text messages on my phone. Ugh.
So I get to the airport, and lo and behold, he showed up early. Came to my gate. I’m trying to organize my stuff for the flight and he’s hovering over me and my seat in the waiting area. I was beyond annoyed by then and chose to ignore him until he walked off. Before checkin, I walked over and told him to have a good flight, and left.
By the time I’d landed in Vegas he’d sent two more, the last saying that he got the vibe that I just wanted to be friends. So I wrote back, “Yeah, friends is good.”
Then, over the course of the weekend, WHILE I’M WORKING, MIND YOU, he sends at least 3 more messages. When I didn’t respond to any because I WAS WORKING, he sent another on Tuesday afternoon saying, “So you’re done talking to me now?”
Of course, I had to respond with, “I’ve been a little busy in case you forgot.”
To which he replied, “It doesn’t take long to message me back, but you know what? I could give a shit less right now.”
Image by sukisuki via FlickrWHAT THE FRIG, MAN!?
Okay, let me make this more clear than I did to him I guess… When I’m working, regardless if it’s travel mode or not, I’m not thinking about calling people or answering their text messages right off the bat. Add to that when I AM traveling, and you can pretty much guarantee you won’t hear from me. In fact, my parents and my grandmother are the only ones who did hear from me the whole time. I didn’t call my best friend of 18 years - and he expected me to call/text HIM while I was away, after knowing him a few weeks?
Bottom line: He was too clingy and needy and full of guilt trips. I was already on one in Vegas, thankyouverymuch… didn’t need another from a near stranger.
Now I remember why I never got into guys that were younger than me (by that much). ANNOYING!
(PS - More on why I think my dating is a problem for me in a future post. haha)
Tags: Blog World Expo in Vegas, clingy guys, dating younger men, needy guys, text-messaging, VegasRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Dating in General
7 opinions for Pink Rose Boy Failed.
Mary Jo
Sep 25, 2008 at 6:15 pm
Although getting to BWE sounds like it was a total pain in the ass — I’m so glad I got the chance to meet you!
Lara Kulpa
Sep 25, 2008 at 7:24 pm
Mary Jo - The getting there wasn’t so bad, it was just that week prior of dealing with him that sucked the bag. Thankfully, you and the others made it OH SO FREAKING WORTH IT! :)
I’m super glad I got to meet and hang out with you also! :)
Jay
Sep 25, 2008 at 9:19 pm
I feel sorry for this guy. Wow.
I get that he was clingy at just the time you most needed space. And I know how unattractive clingyness is even under the best circumstances. But lets review this as an impartial observer.
So the guy drives SEVEN HOURS to see YOU. For this, You blow him off for a dinner date, then grudgingly agree to a lunch date and try to get through it as fast as possible. He calls you that night, you snap at him, he meets you at the airport, you treat him like a stranger until he leaves.
Couldn’t find a hour for him between Tuesday and Friday. After he drove seven. To see you.
At this point, you’ve broken up with him. Maybe you left something important out, but it seems like one blow off after another with basically no cause other than he was the least important thing in your world.
You guys formalize it with the “lets be friends” thing, and you know, probably he should have just left it there. Thats the one thing I think he really did wrong. You said he was young. He probably learned a lesson here.
So “over the course of the weekend”, which spans from Friday to Sunday, he sends three WHOLE text messages. Thats like, one per day! Those things are long too, sometimes 2 whole sentences! It takes, like, 60 whole seconds to reply!
So you can’t find 60 seconds to send this guy a text message over a three day interval. Tuesday he says not to bother, and YOU, yes YOU, SOMEHOW are the one thinking “what the frig” and acting like a victim.
And whats with the picture in the cake? You’re posting pictures of cupcakes to call him… a what?
I don’t mean to sound mean and I know you are going to be sensitive right now, but thats just bad behavior. I’m feeling bad for this poor guy.
Before you ban me, and I think if you think for a minute you will realize I am not being a troll - I am trying very hard to be sincere although I know you are probably very upset. Just take a little time to think over what I’ve said.
I consider dating “no fault” and some things just don’t work, and thats how it is, and he needs to get that. But you treated this poor guy very badly.
As Dennis Miller would say… but that just my opinion. I could be wrong.
Good luck - I hope the next one works out better!
Lara Kulpa
Sep 26, 2008 at 5:27 am
Jay, there’s more to this… I wish you’d read all the other posts on this guy before you commented here.
First, he didn’t drive seven hours “just to see me”. He was out of town, seven hours away, working (he works out of town on weekends - another reason this wasn’t going to work) and visiting his family. He was supposed to be back here (which is where he lives, not seven hours away) by lunchtime on Wednesday (please re-read, because you appear to think I blew him off for dinner, when our plans were for lunch) - and he didn’t even leave where he was until close to 1pm. So no, I didn’t blow HIM off, it was quite the other way around.
Also - I didn’t “break up” with him - we’d gone on TWO DATES by the time I’d seen him at the airport. Never kissed him, never nothing. (Again, you might want to read the other posts on this guy. I had actually really liked him at first.) The problem was that he wanted to talk to me 3-4 times a DAY after our first date, and he guilted me into taking down my PlentyOfFish profile the DAY AFTER our first date. There is a lot to this I haven’t even written about here, so I don’t blame you for that, but please, before you judge me, hear it out.
Lastly, I’m not “acting like a victim” - What you might fail to understand here is that this is a dating blog, and it’s half mine (and half Michelle’s). And I’m here to write about dating. So when I write about a situation with someone, it’s a journal of my experience. Believe me honey, I’m SO not feeling bad about this thing being over. No, I feel a lot better than a “victim”.
Since you aren’t ME, and you weren’t HERE, and most importantly since you (clearly) didn’t take the time to read the other posts about this guy, then what you’ve done is made assumptions about me based on just this post. Kinda not cool, ya know?
Anyway, I absolutely don’t consider dating “no fault” - have you read about my ex? And no, I didn’t treat him badly. I explained to him several times, in very clear, friendly, plain English, that the week before the trip was going to be hectic and busy. I explained that while I was gone, I was going to be running on very little sleep and be with others all the time.
I think it’s rude to be in the middle of a conversation with someone (or a group) and start texting someone. I also got less than 5 hours of sleep a night (this was Vegas - I was out with friends and clients every night). Sorry, like I said, I talked to my parents and my grandmother briefly during the day (when he was working, and *I* am not so rude as to demand attention while someone is at work - unlike him).
If I didn’t talk to my best friend of 18 years, why on Earth did I “owe” him a response when we’d met face to face twice and knew each other for 3 weeks or less?
Sorry… not MY problem here.
(Oh, and I didn’t make the cupcakes… damn. It’s a photo I found of someone else’s (hence the credit mark). And you never met him. He annoyed me with his “I could give a shit less right now” but he was texting me anyway, so guess what? Yep, he’s a you-know-what.)
Leah
Sep 29, 2008 at 12:40 pm
My 2 cents…for any relationship you have to be able to gauge how specific you need to be. This guy apparently didn’t get the “don’t bother me” vibe from you with the information that you were going to be busy. Sometimes we have to lay it ALL out there…”Dude, I’m going to be so busy that I will NOT have time this week or while I’m in Vegas to talk, text or eat. Period. Don’t take it personal. It’s my work mode and I’ll call you when I get back.” Not everyone can take such direct information. But we can’t expect anyone to understand us if we can’t give ‘em the full story. Good luck! :)
Lara Kulpa
Sep 29, 2008 at 12:56 pm
Hey Leah,
I really did that, to be honest. I didn’t want to post every teensy bit of our conversations here, because it would be long and boring, but I explained on several occasions, in no uncertain terms, that I was busy now, then, and would be after the trip.
He didn’t want to get it.
This is the same guy who got bent out of shape the day after our first date when I had signed in to my PlentyOfFish account because there was an email in there… okay?
He was too clingy. Too needy. And too not-understanding of the fact that I have a life, had one before him, would have one while with him, and yes, one after him too. And while sharing my life with someone is a goal, it’s not on my list of things to do immediately after only two dates.
I like slow. He claimed to like slow, but acted completely the opposite. Fast red flag that this guy was going to be trouble and I had to get out best I could. So I did.
Lara Kulpa
Sep 29, 2008 at 12:58 pm
Like I said in a previous comment, “I explained to him several times, in very clear, friendly, plain English, that the week before the trip was going to be hectic and busy. I explained that while I was gone, I was going to be running on very little sleep and be with others all the time.”
I DID make it clear. He chose to press on and cling to me anyway. Sorry, it’s a deal breaker for me.
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