Middle Age Relationships - Foolish Risk Takers
Paige Padgett, Ph.D., of The University of Texas School of Public Health, conducted an online survey of 740 women who placed personal ads on the Internet seeking men.
Padgett published her study, Personal Safety and Sexual Safety for Women Using Online Personal Ads in the current issue of a publication titled “Sexuality Research & Social Policy.”
A press release promoting Padgett’s study revealed mixed results—both encouraging and troubling.
The encouraging aspect:
Women exercise caution when communicating with strangers: “Women go to great lengths to screen would-be suitors. The survey reported that they request photographs, check for small-talk inconsistencies, run criminal background checks and call workplace phone numbers.
“Final precautions include meeting men in public places, arranging their own transportation, giving the man’s name to a friend and calling a friend before and after the encounter.”
The troubling aspect:
“Many of the 568 surveyed women who eventually met their online dates engaged in risky sexual behaviors. Thirty percent of the respondents reported having sex on their first date. Seventy-seven percent of respondents reported not using a condom during their first sexual encounter.”
The press released explained why this reckless behavior is happening: “Padgett said otherwise cautious women may engage in unprotected sex because they are lulled into a sense of ‘virtual intimacy.’ By the time the couples meet face-to-face, they have exchanged much information about their backgrounds, their likes and dislikes, as well as their sexual preferences.”
Padgett continued, “The high level of disclosure and frequency of e-mail exchanges with men provides women with at least a virtual intimacy—a sense of a relationship that may or may not exist in reality but may encourage sexual intimacy at a faster rate than what would develop through conventional dating methods.”
My Thoughts:
Having been a very active member in the online dating scene, I can state with great authority that virtual intimacy is dangerous - both mentally and physcially.
People, both men and women alike, are able to become exactly who they want behind a computer. They can test you, ask the right question and become the perfect match for you.
Use extreme caution when getting to know someone online. If you refuse to cross that “intimate” line and lean more toward getting to know the person casually, the truth may even surface before meeting in person.
You’ll be able to tell who is online to play and who is online looking for a serious relationship.
I’ve never understood the daters who are players hanging out on mainstream dating sites where people are looking for real relationships when there are dating sites like Adult Friend Finder that were created for one night stands and casual intimate encounters.
Tags: dating, online dating, personal ads, middle age dating, relationships
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POSTED IN: Dating Trends, In the News
1 opinion for Middle Age Relationships - Foolish Risk Takers
Bob H
Dec 14, 2007 at 12:40 pm
Virtual Intimacy? Huh, that explains a lot about what I have seen in divorce cases around me. A few women I know have been lured into new relationships via web site contacts. I am always amazed at two things: 1. How quickly they jump, physically, for the guy when they first make “REAL” contact (after only virtual contact); and 2. How quickly the relationship ends after they make “REAL” contact; usually after living together, being engaged, etc. Perhaps these women rely heavily on the “Virtual Relationship” as their starting point. Call me old fashioned, but good old face to face, “lets go shopping together” beginnings of relationships can’t be beat.
What do you think?
BH
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