Life After A Painful, Emotional Separation
The Early Show just wraped up a weeklong series, Kiss And Break Up, on divorce.
In the latest installment focus was placed on helping people move on both personally and professionally. After the pain, anger and heartbreak eases up, it’s time to move on and here’s a bit of how one specialist suggests doing just that:
Author Sheila Ellison says divorce does not have to be the end, but rather a wonderful opportunity for a new beginning. The process of divorce helps one to learn to stand up for himself or herself. Most people, give way too much, and they don’t demand, says Ellison.
When people have been lied to for many years, it’s very rewarding to take matters into your own hands and get at the truth, so that they can move. But Ellison says, you should not seek revenge because it is destructive and doesn’t produce growth.
To trust again after a painful divorce, Ellison suggests following the steps:
- Visualize the life you want
- Identify your limitation
- Identify your assets and abilities
Following these instructions will help a divorcee set a new direction in life.
If you have children from a failed marriage and you do meet a new person or partner, introducing that person to your children may feel awkward. To make the situation less awkward, Ellison suggest you casually plan some fun event for the group and don’t tell your kids you really like this person, because they may resent that person.
Ellison says you should not give your kids too much power by making them feel they have a say in your relationship. The relationship is for you and it is your life.
Ellison also suggest that you do not have the person act like a parent. Don’t have them take any parental responsibility, especially from the beginning. She says the whole idea is to have your life in order. Don’t expect a person your dating to save you and disciple your kids.
Ellison also suggests people, especially single moms, to attend support groups. She says there aren’t enough hours for one-on-one therapy to get what you really need and not everyone can afford the sections. However, friends, family and people who can relate to your situation may give you the support you need.
Tags: bitter-breakup, breaking_up, cheating-spouses, dating-after-divorce, divorce, stella_ellisonRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Advice, Breaking Up, Cheating, In the News
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