Is Snooping Always Bad?
From a Dating Dames Reader asking for the advice of others:
Dear Dating Dames,
I’ve been dating a man for just over a year and in the last few weeks I’ve had a horrible gut feeling that something just isn’t right. Following my instinct, I checked his cell phone while he was in the shower. Sure enough there was something to be concerned about.
What I found was an exchange of messages between he and another woman. It was obvious something more than friendship was going on.
My problem is that If I reveal to him that I know, I also reveal that I’ve been snooping. That’s not such a good thing. I know I shouldn’t feel guilty for snooping, but I do.
I need some advice on how to approach this problem or even if I should. Sometimes I feel like I should just tell him I don’t trust him and when there’s a lack of trust, there’s nothing worth having.
Help!
Guilty Snooper
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Tags: text messages, dating advice, snooping, cheating, investigating
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POSTED IN: Advice
5 opinions for Is Snooping Always Bad?
Tracee Sioux
Jul 11, 2007 at 3:39 pm
There was probably a reason you were snooping. You were snooping because you had a feeling in your stomach or a little voice in the back of your head telling you to “watch out.”
It’s second-guessing that voice and feeling guilty for snooping that will lead you into trouble here. Your voice just gave you a warning. Don’t let logic tell you that “snooping was wrong” that’s just way way to continue a relationship that is obviously trouble.
Relationships are not a court of law - you don’t have to prove anything to listen to your inner voice and follow it. You don’t need evidence. You just need to pay attention to your inner guides that are trying to help you out.
Tracee
Gayla McCord
Jul 12, 2007 at 7:48 am
Tracee ~ Great points. I’ve always believed that a partner even giving reason to suspect something is wrong is enough to move on really.
I’m not a person that gets jealous at all. I believe if a person tries to give me reason to be jealous then it’s time to move on.
No matter how much some people think jealousy is a good thing in a relationship, once the seed of jealousy is planted, it grows like a cancer - destroying the entire relationship altogether.
Jen
Jul 12, 2007 at 10:14 am
I think you should mind your own ******** business.
Jen
Jul 12, 2007 at 10:18 am
Bryan likes me more.
Gayla McCord
Jul 12, 2007 at 10:45 am
Sounds like someone is a bit insecure. I’m wondering if Jen may know who wrote in or someone sharing a similar story. But based on the IP addresses, I’d say they’re two very different people from opposite ends of the country :)
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