Is she out of your league?
There will be times in your dating life, regardless of how active or inactive you are, that you will come across a lady that you consider a prime material, miss oh-Ive-got-to-get-her-number, utterly divine creature. But, at the same time, you get this sinking feeling that you’re batting blind. She’s managed to completely unnerve you. You actually think that she’s out of your league.
But is she really?
I guess it’s wise to consider the facts first. Weigh your strengths and come up with realistic expectations before making any life-altering decisions. Did I make sense?
Perhaps an illustration will help clear things up a bit.
It’s quite normal to be attracted to someone with admirable attributes, may it be physical or personality. Notice that I didn’t use a “beautiful and gorgeous girl”. It’s because that definition can be considered an extreme case of putting one on a pedestal. Hehe. We’re merely working on a general scenario.
Moving on to the stage when both are acquainted, they then establish a friendly relationship. Awkward as it seems on the part of the person “in like” since it’s pretty one-sided, this will help determine whether moving on to a romantic sort of relationship is viable. Now, we then have to learn how to tell if it is.
Some individuals fail to discern the true meaning behind certain actions. Some are guilty of reading too much into the other person’s actions and others are just too daft to even notice. But taking everything in stride, leveled expectations and all, will help you to see if a romantic relationship is possible. Bottomline, some things cannot be forced or manipulated. You just can’t make the other person like you back just because you want him or her to. Just doesn’t work that way, I’m afraid.
No one is out of anybody’s league unless they’ve decided to thrown in the towel, I guess. I think it’s all a matter of working on oneself to be part of that league. I’m not talking about crazy manipulations but the honest-to-goodness effort to better oneself in order to win that person’s affection. But if you already think that you SHOULD be in it, we’ll I think you’ve got to do an ego-check.
It’s still true that you ought to be yourself and be loved and appreciated, regardless. But, like what I already said, you can’t force that other person — the one you’re so crushing on — to like your “true self”.
So, if you really want to win that person over, you’ve got to learn how to adapt, play your cards right. Again, I’m not referring to acts of lies and deception but rather of genuine desire to become the right person for him or her.
Oh, before I forget, you’ll never know until you ask. So go take the risk and ask her out. Just make sure you’re ready to accept whatever her answer is.
Anyway, if the rest of you have further insights on the matter, feel free to share them. We’d all appreciate it.
Tags: asking her out, Dating, expectation, leveled expectation, out of your league, perfect girl, relationship, romantic relationshipRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Advice, Discussion, For the Men, Myths & Theories, Sasha Manuel
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