How To Be Irresistible
Over the years, I’ve read quite a few articles about what men and women are looking for in the opposite sex. Many factors are mentioned, among them good looks, honesty, and the ability to make more than minimum wage. So many times, though, it appears to boil down to one thing for each sex. Men are looking for a woman who is confident. Women are looking for a man who will make them laugh.
Today I was looking into the book, “Make Every Man Want You (or Make Yours Want You More): How To Be So Damn Irresistible You’ll Barely Keep From Dating Yourself!” by Marie Forleo. I recently read an excerpt from the book in an article on AOL (Unattractive Women Habits - AOL Health). The article explained the ways in which women act unattractively; being needy, down-playing their looks, worrying about what they aren’t rather than what they are, etc. When we do this, when we question our worth, looks, whatever - we are dimming our own light. This supports my theory about men looking for a woman who is confident.
Some insights from the book include:
“Know this, your irresistibility is greatest when you are present, and free from mental chatter. That’s because the fullness and glory of your being is showing through… It is timeless and beautiful….It needs nothing and seeks no approval…”
“The mind is not usually supportive of your irresistibility. It likes to talk about your mistakes…”
It’s about understanding your reality, embracing it, and moving on. To be successfully irresistible, you need to be in touch with the “is-ness,” of you - accept what is, don’t worry about what is not. This makes perfect sense to me. When my boyfriend and I fell in love last Summer, I was feeling in harmony with my life. It wasn’t perfect, but I focused on three things to make it feel like it was; perspective, flexibility, and grace. If I was upset about something, felt stuck in some way, I did my best to be flexible, to wiggle it around until it felt comfortable - I changed my perspective. I accepted that yes, this is my lot in life and I would go about each day with as much grace as possible. For example, no I did not have bags of money, but I was free to go hang out at the creek, floating on my raft for an hour, enjoying the sounds of the birds and feeling the sun on my face, if I wanted to. Acceptance of your is-ness, it’s powerful.
What do you think? What are you looking for in a woman or a man? Are you in harmony with your is-ness?
Tags: acceptance of self, attractiveness, books, Dating, flexibility, grace, is-ness, men, perspective, power, self-confidence, sense of humor, what men are looking for, what women are looking for, womenRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Books, Magazines, Newspapers, & Television
8 opinions for How To Be Irresistible
Mary Allen
Jul 25, 2008 at 12:47 pm
Great article Michelle! I especially like the reminder to love and accept ourselves for who we are — and who we are NOT.
I would add another characteristic to what men are looking for. That is — a “HAPPY” woman! Nothing seems to light up my husband more than when I’m simply radiating happiness. Even when they aren’t directly responsible for creating the happiness…they LOVE it!
As much as men are known for their affinity to “fix” things, they don’t want to “fix” us. They simply want us to be happy.
Maybe this is why women like men who make them laugh.
Great thoughts.
Michelle
Jul 25, 2008 at 5:14 pm
Thanks Mary Allen. I bet that’s why they like a good smile - it’s attached to a happy face.
Jackie Stoy
Jul 26, 2008 at 5:11 pm
Michelle,
You go girl! I am so proud of you. Your inner strength and wisdom have been a blessing to me and now you are sharing your introspective nature with others.
Jackie
Michelle Smith
Jul 28, 2008 at 9:31 pm
Thank you, Jackie. I always thought you were the one with the inner strength and wisdom. You’ve helped me figure so much out - thanks!
Fitness Personals
Jul 29, 2008 at 8:43 am
This is one great read! Self-pity, indeed, is one that makes one look very unattractive. It’s more fruitful, career-wise and lovelife-wise to highlight what you’re best at instead of trying to be what you are not.
A. Guy Maligned
Jul 31, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Ladies,
Well defined, well said, well done. You’re pounding hard on the door of natural truth. Several generations of younger females are coming under your influence. Keep telling them what you know. You can help restore marital stability for those seeking it.
PS. I love to see pretty women spouting truth all over the place.
Guy
Heather
Aug 14, 2008 at 9:52 am
Wow, Michelle! I really needed to read this. I think my biggest problem with dating is that it makes me feel so insecure. I am constantly focusing on the things I’m not, rather than the things I am. I’m constantly worried I’m not good enough. And then I worry that my lack of confidence will show.
So clearly, what I need to work on is my confidence. Thanks for giving me this to think about!
Michelle Smith
Aug 14, 2008 at 10:03 am
I’m glad that you found it helpful, Heather. :D You know, I’m feeling a little less than confident, so maybe it’s something that I need to reread. Gaining self-confidence, being comfortable in your skin, and satisfied with your life, it’s one of those never-ending journeys. Every day you’ve got to wake up and do it again.
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