High School Sweethearts - Can it Last?
This last weekend, my family visited a relative who was just about to go to her first prom. I looked at her wishing I had half the adventure she has at her tender young age.
You know, the feeling that God went on vacation and left you in charge?
Dan and Jennifer have brought up the topic of High School Sweethearts as well. It must be that time of year — young love and prom — it really does something to people, doesn’t it?
I started to comment on Ask Dan and Jennifer with my response, but felt the topic deserving enough to carry it over here to Dating Dames. I hope you’ll join me…
As a woman currently married to my high school sweetheart I can’t really say I’m an ‘expert’ on the topic, but I’m more then willing to share my own perspective.
Had my husband Rusty and I stayed together as high school sweethearts, I have no doubt we would not have survived in a marriage.
Though in my heart I’ve always loved him - and though I kept track of him from a distance after graduation for many years and as much as I love him today, I can honestly say that there were life lessons we both had to endure before we could get to the place we are today.
Living in a small rural community, I’ve seen so many examples of high school sweethearts marrying right out of school and I can’t say that I know of one that were still together at our 20 year reunion just a couple of years ago.
One couple really did stand out in the community though and when it was found they were getting divorced, everyone was shocked. This entire family had put on such a happy family face for so long, no one ever suspected trouble. In reflecting on this relationship, I’m not sure I would even call it trouble as much as I would just call it life.
Somewhere after graduation, these kids grew up. They grew up, woke up and realized they’d been playing house and now were burdened with heavy responsibility to two children and living with a decision that was made by children several years prior.
If high school sweethearts do marry and it does last, I think it’s more out of maintaining an image then anything.
Think back 10 years in your own life? Are you the same person you were then? If you’ve evolved as a person, don’t you think a partner would to? Nothing guarantees that your partner will evolve in life, the way you do either. Sometimes that evolving in life is nothing more then growing apart.
What are your thoughts on High School Sweethearts? Can they last? And if so, why do they last?
Tags: high school sweetheart, prom, love, marriage, relationship
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POSTED IN: Discussion, Gayla McCord, Real Stories
9 opinions for High School Sweethearts - Can it Last?
Jeff
Apr 19, 2007 at 9:27 am
*Followed here via Dan and Jennifer’s site.
My wife, Becca, and I were highschool sweet hearts and married at age 20/19. We’re going on 10 years this June and I can say our relationship is as strong if not stronger than our first year. The fact that we’ve grown together from nothing and experienced all of the trials of life together has only helped our relationship. For us, the key to a healthy marriage has been communication, compromise, and unconditional love. We have to talk about life, expectations, dreams, and such. You have to be willing to give in sometimes - it’s not always about you. You have to show love for each other even when you don’t “feel” like it. So many of my friends who have married later in life treat marriage like a business deal instead of a realtionship or even a friendship. It makes me thankful that Becca and I experienced life together from high school until now.
Can it last? Absolutely! We know the potential obstacles that we may face in the future - and we address them now to prevent them from destroying our marriage when we hit 20, 25, 30 years, etc. If either side doesn’t put in any effort to succeed, a marriage will fail, regardless of the stage of life in which you were married.
Dan and Jennifer
Apr 19, 2007 at 11:17 am
Hey Gayla,
Just caching up on my email from the past few days.
Thanks so much for the mention and for sharing your story with Rusty.
I think you are right on - having the chance to be apart and grow on your own really helped to avoid straying later on. You got to do some growing and experimenting of your own, only to come back and decide you wanted to be with him after all.
It’s interesting what feedback we’ve gotten since making this post…
The comments here on our blog and on other blogs were from people who WERE high school sweethearts and now have a wonderful relationship together.
But we also received a number of private emails on this, and those were from people who after a long time decided to break it off since it wasn’t working.
One of the biggest challenges for any relationships is that it involves two people, each with an independent mind, spirit, hopes, dreams, aspirations.
Fact is people area always changing, and if you’re luck you change in a similar direction - also known as “growing together”. Many also grow apart, thus they eventually separate. Yeah, it happens often at a young age when you meet as basically kids and grow into some form of adulthood.
But the 50%+ divorce rate shows us that grown-ups are by no means immune to this same phenomenon. It’s just a fact of life when you have two (or more) people sharing a life together.
Congratulations again to you and Rusty, that’s a great story. :-)
Have an awesome day!
Dan
Richard
Apr 30, 2007 at 2:49 pm
My wife and are highschool sweethearts and started dating when she was a freshman and I was a sophmore. She is the only girl I ever dated and I am the only guy she ever dated. We lasted all through highschool, four years at separate colleges, and have been married 24 years! We are more in love today than ever before. It takes work, it takes time, but well worth the effort.
Lamar Cole
Jun 7, 2007 at 2:29 am
Young romantic sweethearts are a kaleidoscope of love.
Leila
Jul 30, 2007 at 2:11 pm
I am living proof that high school sweethearts can last!
I started dating my boyfriend when we were both sophomores and now we are both 23 and still very much in love. I would even say that we love each other more and I a better way today.
However, I do agree that you have to let yourself grow and not rush into things (I’m still waiting for the ring!! Haha!!). We both went to college and we are now successful young professionals, he is an accountant and I am a teacher. We just recently bought a house and we are very much excited to make the jump from tenant to owner!!
Our relationship wasn’t without bad times. When you get involved in a serious so early on in life, sometimes you can panic and think you won’t see anything in life, this is especially true for boys.
Ash
May 6, 2008 at 6:11 pm
I totally believe in high school sweethearts…I have been with mine for the past 5 years and while it was on and off for almost two, I wouldn’t have it anyother way. We are happier now than ever. I have grown so much as an individual in the last year.
It really upsets me that so many people think high school sweethearts cannot last. My b/f and I actually just had this conversation last night. I just think that people who condem high school sweethearts are wrong in doing so. They do not know the couples whole story therefore, how can they judge them?
Just some thoughts running through my head about this subject! =)
seleena
Jun 17, 2008 at 5:45 pm
hi.
im still in high sckool.
im a sophmore..yeah im young.
but i have a boifriend and we been together for
almost a year & i do love him.
but everyone tells me.
its a phase.
yall cant lasst.
& dey say high sckool sweethearts never lasst.
but i was jus curious and i see that they do lasst it jus takes work, patience, and determination.
so im hoping ours last as longs as most of yalls did. :)
seleena
Jun 17, 2008 at 5:47 pm
thanks for da inspiration!
:) this encourages me alot.
& it gives me hope.
ilovemyboifriend.
Joanie
Jul 9, 2008 at 3:13 pm
Everyone finds their true love different times in their lives, some early, some late in life….I met mine at the age of 19 and happy!
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