Engagements - Long or Short?
A reader would like to know - “How long should a couple date before getting engaged?”
Over the years I’ve had several relationships. Some resulted in engagements - yes, there have been a few.
For me, an engagement wasn’t so much a marriage proposal, but more of a promise to explore an exclusive relationship with one man. That ring on my finger was more a symbol to the world that I was dedicated to one relationship. If the relationship survived a period of exclusivity, I would then consider marriage. However, I found that within the first year I could get a true sense of whether or not I could live with that person or not. Although it may have been different for the man - I knew!
Of those few engagements - one lasted a couple of months, one lasted 3 years (before I gave up on setting a date) - and one man I dated for 4 years without a mention of marriage at all. When my high school sweetheart and I reunited after 20 years, I think we may have had one of the shortest engagements on record before marrying 3 months later.
So who is to say what’s right or wrong?
Personally, I feel that people should date exclusively for at least one year. Something about the person and their transition through the various seasons had some bearing on their personality and moods that would give me a clear indication of whether or not the person was right for me.
Getting engaged is one thing, setting a date and getting married is another.
Do you really think that people who date longer have longer happier marriages?
If you were engaged, how long would you be willing to wait before setting a date?
Tags: Dating, engagement, proposalRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Ask the Dames
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