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Dating, Marriage and ‘The Dip’

by Sasha Manuel on October 23rd, 2007

For someone who’s been seriously in the dating scene for the past decade (i.e. single and unmarried person going out with someone who’s not her boyfriend — not referring to the kind of ‘dating’ that we go through when we were teenagers, mind you), I’ve never really sat down and think about my own “marry-ability” as Mikey have in his post, “The Dip. Marry-ability.” over at his personal blog.

I have to admit that I’m impressed that he took it upon himself to share his thoughts on the matter, no matter how introspective it is, cuz it highlighted certain points in a person’s status, personality and emotions that wouldn’t really consider in the first place.

Reading his post led me to ask these questions, “How do you define The Dip?”; “What are the indicators that you are in The Dip?”; “How do you relate it to relationships?”

Mikey shared, “This “Dip” that I speak of is the fact that I feel that as if, right now, I have peaked. I am as marry-able as I’m ever going to get. In fact, forget “peaking” as I think I’ve passed my peak years ago. Right now, my life is on a downward slide that will ultimately end in a mail-to-order bride, annulment, severe alcoholism and drug addiction, murder and fire. I seriously do not see myself changing for the better in any aspect from here on.”

Does it mean that you’ll know that you’re in ‘The Dip’ phase when you can say you’ve peaked in certain aspects of your life, which helps determine your “marry-ability”?

A ‘Dip’ is a situation wherein you find yourself in which can be classified as a ‘temporary setback that will get better if you keep pushing’. This is compared against a ‘Cul-de-Sac’ which refers to a situation that will ‘never get better, no matter how hard you try’. (Source)

Of course, he’s referring to the concept that Seth Godin has developed in a book with a similar title. The book’s tagline will give you gist of what it’s about — “A little book that teaches you when to quit and when to stick.” This gave me an idea on how this idea can be applied to people and relationships.

So now this leaves me to wonder, how will a person know if he or she is in already ‘The Dip’? Well, IMHO, I reckon this means an individual should look within himself or herself and judge. If we’ve set a certain goal for ourselves to reach in order to gauge our marry-ability, we’ll be able to see whether or not we’re ready. Do we need a fat bank account? Or set up our own business? Or earning $100,000.00 annual income? Willingness to settle down? Believe in monogamy? It all depends on the criteria we’ve set for ourselves.

I guess thinking about these things will save us from sticking in a relationship that we think will give us what we need. We’ll know if it’s necessary to bail in a more rational way. Take it from Mikey, it helped him get to a decision about his stand when it comes to marriage, which will eventually help his own relationship.

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