Dating after divorce: When to reveal your past
This is one of those subjects that can get quite sticky. It’s so hard to gauge when to tell somethings and when to wait.
Here’s a few helpful tips from CNN:
• If you are going through a divorce, tell the person you are dating pronto. Don’t beat around the bush, and don’t say you are already divorced if you are still in the process of it.
• More personal information, such as why the marriage failed and the nature of your relationship with your ex, should be saved for a later date when the two of you are more comfortable with each other.
• Don’t go into too much detail. Focus on what you learned and how it made you a better person.
• Be neutral when speaking about your past partner. If you criticize your ex, you risk sounding petty and emotionally involved. If you heap on praise, you sound as though you still have romantic feelings for your ex.
• Know what you want out of the relationship and what you’re capable of. “Be honest with yourself first, then with potential partners,” Hartman says.
What are your thoughts? When you do begin to open up?
For me, it always seemed that I would get the goods out of the way, right away - I didn’t want to waste my time if the dude was going to run anyway. So why not cut to the chase, get it over with and then get on to the fun stuff?
Tags: dating, relationships
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POSTED IN: Advice, In the News, Single Parents
1 opinion for Dating after divorce: When to reveal your past
Jennifer
Nov 15, 2007 at 12:48 am
Dating sounds impossible. I can’t even imagine. I’ve been looking at posts here and thinking but it really sounds like something I’d never do. What I wonder is if all new divorced people feel this way. That said; I like this post. It gives some decent rules except I think I agree about just getting the lame stuff out of the way first. I’m chatty anyhow. I doubt I’d just stay mum about my ex. I suppose I’ll bookmark this for later reference.
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