Dating advice - Retro or Right on?
Amy Alkon - The Advice Goddess was recently approached with the question of whether or not it’s proper for a woman to ask a man out.
While the person posing the question felt it was not proper and was instructing her niece as such, she was concerned her advice might be a bit outdated.
The Advice Goddess agreed by pointing out several factors:
Men are most attracted to what’s slightly out of reach, not what’s throwing itself in their laps, crushing their yarbles. Sure, they’ll say they love it when women ask them out. They also love women who’ll have sex with them 20 minutes after meeting them in a bar, but they aren’t going to make them their girlfriends.
Forget worrying about what’s equal or unequal, and stick to what works: A woman targets the guy she wants and flirts to let him know he’s got a shot. If he doesn’t ask her out, he’s either a weenie or not interested. Either way, if she tries to force a relationship, it’s unlikely to end well.
I can’t say that I fully agree - because I’ve been in the position where I’ve asked a man out before. Granted, I believe every situation is unique, but in general, I believe it should be left to the man to do the asking.
What is your opinion? Should women ask men out or should that be left entirely up to the men?
Tags: date_idea, dating_advice, single_men, single_women
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POSTED IN: Advice
2 opinions for Dating advice - Retro or Right on?
Angela
Apr 19, 2006 at 6:49 am
I think women should not be afraid to ask men out, as it helps build self esteem and character, but I do tend to agree that guys will say they like when a woman asks them out when in reality they like the chase more.
I asked several guys out growing up, but was always rejected, which appals me how guys whine about possible rejection, been there done that I lived and learned so get over it and quit whining.
Anyway, I think there is some sort of happy medium, maybe not ask for a full date but a phone number or meeting for coffee…sudtle things like that. This would promote things to see if the guy is interested or could become more interested.
Gayla McCord
Apr 21, 2006 at 6:08 am
That’s a tough one! Like I said, I think every situation is unique and should be handled as such.
It would be so nice to have some of those “signals” that Sasha wrote about to let us know that “yep, you can ask and not get rejected” or “nope, don’t even think about it.”
:)
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