Dating Dames - Dating & Relationship Advice, Tips and Trends

5 Considerations Before Entertaining His Advances

by Sasha Manuel on January 23rd, 2008

Whilst most may disagree and find these points highly subjective and limiting, I see no harm in highlighting certain considerations, which may very well prove beneficial to both parties.

Another thing is that I am certain that there are more than five points in which you should consider before entertaining his advances but I’m only limiting my list into these points for now.

Disapprobation at home
It may not be the case for some individuals but here in my country, it’s widely practiced that the person you do choose to date or enter into a relationship with is or should be someone whom you’re family will approve of. It may be in terms of want of a connection or general character disposition, this person should possess traits that the family should approve of. Plainly, he should not just get along with your family but also should be the sort that your family will entrust you to without fear or resentment.

Clarity of his intentions
Cynical as it appears, one should really stop and think, ask the appropriate questions, to determine his true intentions. Is he courting you because you’re the one or just a maybe? Is his interest relative to convenience? Does he show signs of sound judgment? Is there a history of repetitive behaviour doesn’t sit well with you? More importantly, you shouldn’t find yourself in the position of trying to convince yourself that his intentions are in sync with your expectations.

Depth of his affection
As quite normal for most newly formed attractions, singling you out from the rest of the other female genders will have its certain appeal. You will hear words that will solidify your own belief in his affections toward you. Time can indeed tell — no matter how much of a cliché that may sound — if his feelings goes far beyond the physical. Are you willing to get involved, surrender your heart, at an undetermined depth of affection? Will you be able to survive the occurrence of a change of heart? Or are you ready to bare all, render yourself vulnerable, to a half-baked relationship?

Appeal of his profession
Hard to believe that I’m including this bit on the list but, yes, I am. With good reason. At face value, it may look superficial but I’d like to bring your attention to the fine print. For men, their professions form a great part of their life. Some even equate their person to their profession. And my main concern is if your built to be a partner to that. That’s what we, women, will be, right? Their partners in life. There some things in this life that will be difficult for us too understand and we can only be lucky if the man we end up with will take time to teach us what they do. Will his profession hold your interest long? Will you tolerate conversations and dates which will revolve around it? It’s true that if we find ourselves the subject of interest of a successful man of his profession, we’ll highly be flattered and attracted to him in some way. But to actually have that man become part of your life is a different thing. You have to consider your needs, too.

Subject of his eloquence
This is where the subject of I, You and Us will be talked about (pun intended). I reckon it’s quite important for you to notice how he speaks, with emphasis on the matter not just the manner. The latter is only important if you’re particular about it. The former will tell you just how much of yourself will be visible in the relationship and how much of himself. Will your thoughts truly matter? Will he pay attention to your accomplishments? Will he acknowledge your talents and just how much you add onto his life? Or will you forever be a groupie whom he expects undivided attention and adoration? And this is if he is indeed eloquent in the first place. A major part of your relationship will rely on effective communication, you see.

These are just my two cents. I just want to share these things in the hope that it will help other women in choosing the right partner. Like I said earlier, there may be more considerations that women should know about. Feel free to add your own thoughts on the matter.

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POSTED IN: Advice, Courtship, Dating, For the Ladies, Hooking Up, Myths & Theories, Sasha Manuel