Healthy Versus Toxic Love

If you were in a toxic relationship, would you recognize it? Are you the type who can come up with a million excuses for your love interest to behave badly?

Try as I might to raise my teenage boys to recognize toxic love from the start, I can see episodes where they give in and think with their heart instead of making healthy decisions.

Early in my dating career, I established my own set of rules. Rules that included issues that were important to me and those I could not settle for less on.

As an example – I am very big on being prompt. I hate tardiness of any kid and during my dating career – if my date showed up more than 15 minutes late, I didn’t go. I found it to be rude and inconsiderate.

There’s absolutely no excuse for being tardy these days, especially when everyone has cell phones or know someone who does.

I stumbled on this chart that compares Healthy Love and Toxic Love – take a look, compare the sides and see if you see yourself in any of the classic signs.

3 Places To Find Your Next Boyfriend

Not that I’m looking, mind you. But I’m thinking perhaps some of you are. LOL.

I just came across this *quite possibly* useful article which reports on 3 Places to Find Your Next Boyfriend. Here are the 3 places cited:

1. Volunteer Organizations

2. Wine Tastings

3. Whatever else you are passionate about

Personally, if you’re meant to meet a guy, you’ll meet him. But I guess it wouldn’t hurt to get on out there, right?

Anyway, go on over and read further thoughts on why these places made her list. Perhaps you’ll find reasons to give these ideas a try. Let us know if it works.

Artistic Types Have Way More Sex

After surveying 425 men and womenDaniel Nettle of Newcastle University found a strong link between the profession of a person and the number of sexual partners they have had.

According to this study, doctors, lawyers, and other business-y types have had sex with fewer partners than people in creative fields, namely with as few as three people on average. People in more creative careers such as writing, music, or the arts have shagged anywhere from four to ten and even more.

The reason for this difference, says Nettle, is a bit of a no-brainer: “Creative types tend to act on more sexual impulses and opportunities, often purely for experience’s sake, than the average person would,” he explains. Of course, that doesn’t mean that every person who dabbles in watercolors, is writing a novel, or works in advertising can be found out bed-hopping. The actual number will vary from individual to individual.

Daniel Nettle, a psychology professor at the University of Newcastle’s School of Biology.

I have to admit, it makes sense.  In all the men I’ve ever dated, I do have to say those who were more “artsy” were obviously more sexual then the others and that was obvious with the men remaining fully dressed.

The Single Biggest Killer of Relationships

“What many people don’t realise is that, should their soulmate change into the perfect ideal required, they both will be seeking different partners! Think about it carefully. People come together because they are attracted to each other .. AS THEY ARE, not what they hope to be. Change one person to something else and s/he will then be looking for a new partner to match the new characteristics they have acquired.” — Elaine Sihera, The Single Biggest Killer of Relationships

The article reports on the cause of bringing relationships to an end. Unmanaged expectations. Couples having set too high an expectation on each other that would often end up in breaking the bonds that initially brought them together. I wish it also shared useful steps on how to deal couples should deal with this together when they find themselves in this situation.

Personally, I believe that when two people meet and date, the attraction lies on their present state. Sure, there will be romanticized notions and such but the fact remains that one is attracted to the other, as the article states, as they are. But, admittedly, change being the only constant thing, when you do get on with life with them, events will happen. Growth. We can only hope that we can manage the expectations of each other, grow together individually AND as a couple, so that adapting to such changes will not be difficult.

What about you guys? What do you think of it? Do you agree that this is the single biggest killer of relationships? How do you deal with it?